Thursday, 26 January 2012
Wednesday, 25 January 2012
Friday, 20 January 2012
Brian Sewell
Brian does need to chill out on David Hockney in his review of the RA show:
"Hockney is a vulgar prankster, trivialising not only a painting that he is incapable of understanding and could never execute, but in involving him in the various parodies, demeaning Picasso too."
Then again, this is the man that got jumped by some rude-boys on the underground in 2004 and said of it:
"Did the boy have a knife? At no point did I see it, but its threatened use was real enough and ingeniously morbid in its echo of Plantagenet murder and Jacobean tragedy"
This article is particularly worth reading - My night of terror on the Tube
Wednesday, 18 January 2012
Alex James, you're a total cock.
Once upon a time, I quite liked blur. This was a long time ago and I haven't liked them for a long time - this was compounded when I was shown this article that Alex James had written for the Sun about fast food. so that you don't have to read it, I will simply put a few quotations below. He recently visited Greggs, McDonald's and KFC factories.
"The little bakery in my local village offers goods too sweet and sugary and is massively over-priced. I can think of much worse things than a Greggs opening up there. "
Oh yeah - like what? I think the residents of your charming Cotswold village might disagree.
"Sausage roll machine — as big as a football pitch and more than 1km long —"
Sorry mate, the machine is not going to be longer than 1km, it wouldn't come close to that.
I iced triple chocolate cupcakes with an enormous icing bag full of chocolate cake topping and I squirted jam into doughnuts using a machine controlled by a foot pedal. "
How many drugs were you fed before you sat down to write this utter dross? It's unspeakably bad.
"All three million burgers produced here every day have to be the same and McDonald's have made it into an art form. There's a huge mince masher which you really don't want to fall into, chewing up big rocks of fresh and frozen beef. "
Children wouldn't write this badly. Although there is some originality here, I have never heard of anyone describing McDonald's as an art form.
"It's like magic seeing how the process binds together a perfect quarter pounder, which pops out of a conveyor belt at the other end. "
"Magic" - seriously?
"They gave me a bag of the seasoning which goes on a Big Mac and I've been using it to flavour my home-made bread. It's awesome and, according to McDonald's, contains just salt and pepper. What is so awesome about that?
This has to be a hoax - or else he has spectacularly lost his mind.
"The little bakery in my local village offers goods too sweet and sugary and is massively over-priced. I can think of much worse things than a Greggs opening up there. "
Oh yeah - like what? I think the residents of your charming Cotswold village might disagree.
"Sausage roll machine — as big as a football pitch and more than 1km long —"
Sorry mate, the machine is not going to be longer than 1km, it wouldn't come close to that.
I iced triple chocolate cupcakes with an enormous icing bag full of chocolate cake topping and I squirted jam into doughnuts using a machine controlled by a foot pedal. "
How many drugs were you fed before you sat down to write this utter dross? It's unspeakably bad.
"All three million burgers produced here every day have to be the same and McDonald's have made it into an art form. There's a huge mince masher which you really don't want to fall into, chewing up big rocks of fresh and frozen beef. "
Children wouldn't write this badly. Although there is some originality here, I have never heard of anyone describing McDonald's as an art form.
"It's like magic seeing how the process binds together a perfect quarter pounder, which pops out of a conveyor belt at the other end. "
"Magic" - seriously?
"They gave me a bag of the seasoning which goes on a Big Mac and I've been using it to flavour my home-made bread. It's awesome and, according to McDonald's, contains just salt and pepper. What is so awesome about that?
This has to be a hoax - or else he has spectacularly lost his mind.
Tuesday, 17 January 2012
Paper cuts II
This guy Guy Laramee brings a new level of vibe to many a book. The one to the left below looks like the Ascent to the Summit of Sinai by David Roberts .
This one looks like the Buddhas of Bamiyan.
Thursday, 12 January 2012
North London's Hardest
A few years ago I noticed this WANTED poster appearing in shop windows up and down Holloway Road.
As you can see this crook is being sought due to various armed robberies in local bookmakers in and around North London. I think you'll agree this isn't the sort of chap you would want to take home to your mother.
As you can see this crook is being sought due to various armed robberies in local bookmakers in and around North London. I think you'll agree this isn't the sort of chap you would want to take home to your mother.
Tuesday, 10 January 2012
Yum.
A colleague of mine told me she was rustling up some dinner. I asked her what. She replied; sausages, corn and some eggs. I asked her to send me a photo of it once she had cooked it.
Once again that's mini-baby corn-on-the-cob flambé, nestled next to deconstructed medallions of tossed frankfurter bordering a dozen quail's eggs.
Once again that's mini-baby corn-on-the-cob flambé, nestled next to deconstructed medallions of tossed frankfurter bordering a dozen quail's eggs.
Wednesday, 4 January 2012
The sentence below is grammatically correct:
Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buffalo_buffalo_Buffalo_buffalo_buffalo_buffalo_Buffalo_buffalo
Tuesday, 20 December 2011
A Major Retrospective: Caledonian Kim
A few months ago I started taking pictures of the Caledonian Road Underground Station service information board. These are lovingly created around twice a week and usually turn even the most wizened winter sneer into a bow of burning glee.
This work above is the latest in the collection - "Untitled" - mixed media (washed board markers and taffeta on white board). Below you can find a selection of other such works.
"Untitled" "Untitled"
"Untitled" "Untitled"
As I took the most recent photo last Friday, I felt a light tap on my back, I looked down to where a couple of items were being pressed hurriedly into my hand. Placed into my hand were the card and coin you can see below addressed to 'My Lovely'. I spun round in an instant to catch a glimpse of this artisan sprite and only managed to witness blurred figure scurrying back into the Station Master's office. Perplexed, I opened the card and carried on my journey.
You can see that I have interacted directly with these merry-makers. A little light research shows the artist as Kim, although from the card below you can see that she has an accomplice. I will continue to document these works - until then, my lovelies.
Certainly the the artists at King's Cross Station come from more of a Pop-Minimalist school:
Friday, 16 December 2011
Well deserved.
At a trip to a crematorium recently I came across this award on the wall. It left me asking a few questions.
1) What have you been during the last 6/7 years since?
3) When you say 'special award' do you actually mean 'wooden spoon'?
3) How did you manage just to get the children's play area so right?
4) Who exactly is on the Judges Panel?
5) The awards ceremony sounds like it could be an absolute hoot. Where does one get tickets?
6)I thought the children's area was rather under-whelming. Was a children's poll conducted as part of the process?
I then had a look into what these awards were really all about and this press release explains the reasons for them - this is the brain child of Michael Dewar no less - the esteemed campaign director of the MAB (Memorial Awareness Board)
"Obviously death is not a positive media hook, so Michael, Dewar Associates came up with the idea of the Cemetery of the Year Awards"
No, not a positive media hook at all - unless you tie in an awards ceremony - I think you'll all agree that's a great idea; giving this whole scene a bit of the celebrity treatment. clever.
The release goes on to say that unfortunately the press ended up focussing on some of the negative results including their own 'RIP Ratings'. This rather canny idea took on more of a morosely moronic look. shame.
I've also just due to the awards site they state that the awards never even took place in 2010 which might go some way in explaining Guildford Crematorium's stagnant progress over the last six years; perhaps this sort of on/off approach to standards-appraisal breeds apathy? Perhaps it breeds the sitting around and quaffing of champagne at exclusive and sporadic awards ceremonies, encouraging participants to rest of their wreaths and boast about their lack lustre achievements. I'd still love to go though.
1) What have you been during the last 6/7 years since?
3) When you say 'special award' do you actually mean 'wooden spoon'?
3) How did you manage just to get the children's play area so right?
4) Who exactly is on the Judges Panel?
5) The awards ceremony sounds like it could be an absolute hoot. Where does one get tickets?
6)I thought the children's area was rather under-whelming. Was a children's poll conducted as part of the process?
I then had a look into what these awards were really all about and this press release explains the reasons for them - this is the brain child of Michael Dewar no less - the esteemed campaign director of the MAB (Memorial Awareness Board)
"Obviously death is not a positive media hook, so Michael, Dewar Associates came up with the idea of the Cemetery of the Year Awards"
No, not a positive media hook at all - unless you tie in an awards ceremony - I think you'll all agree that's a great idea; giving this whole scene a bit of the celebrity treatment. clever.
The release goes on to say that unfortunately the press ended up focussing on some of the negative results including their own 'RIP Ratings'. This rather canny idea took on more of a morosely moronic look. shame.
I've also just due to the awards site they state that the awards never even took place in 2010 which might go some way in explaining Guildford Crematorium's stagnant progress over the last six years; perhaps this sort of on/off approach to standards-appraisal breeds apathy? Perhaps it breeds the sitting around and quaffing of champagne at exclusive and sporadic awards ceremonies, encouraging participants to rest of their wreaths and boast about their lack lustre achievements. I'd still love to go though.
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