Thursday 26 January 2012

Friday 20 January 2012

Brian Sewell


 Brian does need to chill out on David Hockney in his review of the RA show:


"Hockney is a vulgar prankster, trivialising not only a painting that he is incapable of understanding and could never execute, but in involving him in the various parodies, demeaning Picasso too."


Then again,  this is the man that got jumped by some rude-boys on the underground in 2004 and said of it:


"Did the boy have a knife? At no point did I see it, but its threatened use was real enough and ingeniously morbid in its echo of Plantagenet murder and Jacobean tragedy"


This article is particularly worth reading - My night of terror on the Tube


Wednesday 18 January 2012

Alex James, you're a total cock.

Once upon a time, I quite liked blur.  This was a long time ago and I haven't liked them for a long time - this was compounded when I was shown this article that Alex James had written for the Sun about fast food. so that you don't have to read it, I will simply put a few quotations below.  He recently visited Greggs, McDonald's and KFC factories.

"The little bakery in my local village offers goods too sweet and sugary and is massively over-priced. I can think of much worse things than a Greggs opening up there. " 
Oh yeah - like what? I think the residents of your charming Cotswold village might disagree.

"Sausage roll machine — as big as a football pitch and more than 1km long —"
 Sorry mate, the machine is not going to be longer than 1km, it wouldn't come close to that.

I iced triple chocolate cupcakes with an enormous icing bag full of chocolate cake topping and I squirted jam into doughnuts using a machine controlled by a foot pedal. "
 How many drugs were you fed before you sat down to write this utter dross?   It's unspeakably bad.

"All three million burgers produced here every day have to be the same and McDonald's have made it into an art form.  There's a huge mince masher which you really don't want to fall into, chewing up big rocks of fresh and frozen beef. "
Children wouldn't write this badly.   Although there is some originality here, I have never heard of anyone describing McDonald's as an art form.

"It's like magic seeing how the process binds together a perfect quarter pounder, which pops out of a conveyor belt at the other end. "  
"Magic" - seriously?


"They gave me a bag of the seasoning which goes on a Big Mac and I've been using it to flavour my home-made bread. It's awesome and, according to McDonald's, contains just salt and pepper. What is so awesome about that?



This has to be a hoax - or else he has spectacularly lost his mind.


Tuesday 17 January 2012

Paper cuts II



This guy Guy Laramee brings a new level of vibe to many a book. The one to the left below looks like the Ascent to the Summit of Sinai by David Roberts .



 





This one looks like the Buddhas of Bamiyan.

Thursday 12 January 2012

North London's Hardest

A few years ago I noticed this WANTED poster appearing in shop windows up and down Holloway Road.

As you can see this crook is being sought due to various armed robberies in local bookmakers in and around North London.   I think you'll agree this isn't the sort of chap you would want to take home to your mother.


Tuesday 10 January 2012

Yum.

A colleague of mine told me she was rustling up some dinner.  I asked her what. She replied; sausages, corn and some eggs. I asked her to send me a photo of it once she had cooked it.


 Once again that's mini-baby corn-on-the-cob flambé, nestled next to deconstructed medallions of tossed frankfurter bordering a dozen quail's eggs.