GYMBOX

GYMBOX

I have always had a bad reaction to GYMBOX ever since I first came across it: an aggressive man jabbed a leaflet at me outside Holborn tube that told me where I would be able to partake in 'Chav Fighting'. It would appear the brains behind their engaging marketing/promotional campaigns have come with with the goods again. Here is a photo of what greeted me at Holborn this morning

Do I get to look like this if I work out at Gymbox? And will you spend more of my membership fees on exciting promo campaigns such as this? Sign me up.

I find the whole Gymbox philosophy galling at the very least. Why a giant figure that resemembles a post car-crash Martin Johnson supposed to be lure me in is beyond me.

On their site they have this info:

"With all of our branches designed by nightclub designers, we believe that going out and working out should be one and the same thing and that hot and sweaty exercise should be pure unadulterated entertainment."

They also have djs playing there on rotation. I can't imagine anything worse than a gym with attitude, a techno-gym with attitude - and lasers. They have a weekly rave class, with glowsticks. You can see a video clips here of 'The Rave' - it's pretty much my idea of hell. They also write 'Nightly Resident DJ's - all vices welcome' : sure, take some pills and some ketamine and hit the spin class.

It's not the case that working out can be fun if you pretend you are at a rave.- There is also a categorical fact that clubbing is by nature 'un-gym' - whilst both activities require high levels of exertion, one is a result of self-induced hyper-hedonism, the other the result of a self-imposed health hunt. It would not be ludicrous to claim that they are pretty much polar opposite on the activities spectrum.

I feel queasy when I imagine the sorts of horrids that would be up for GYMBOX and pay a premium for the priviledge. Have a look at this guy - Adam will be yours if you are lucky enough to select the Covent Garden branch:

He looks reeeeeeeeeaaaal healthy.

If you want to work-out, go to a real gym. If you want to rave, go to Berghain . it is my opinion these two pastimes should remain entirely separate.