I'll find you and I'll kill you.

Apologies for not being able to embed this rather wonderful animation.

Can you be cool and play Guitar Hero Rock Band at the same time?

no.

just spent some time with Auntie Blaise, she recommended www.whatthefuckshouldimakefordinner.com

middle eastern bison meatballs with cilatro yoghurt sauce.

weirdly i had this is mind while riding the subway. Time will tell how this story ends.

A detailed investigation into the art of obtaining a 100% non-date lifestyle.

A colleague of mine received this email from
someone who approached her a couple of times
after a tough work out at the gym.
He clearly quite liked her, so far so good.
He thought that it might be a good idea to write
to her and let her know how he felt - this is when
it falls apart just a smidgen.

I bring you his magus opus -

How are you? I am sry to write you but I just cant stand
it. Please dont ignore me in gym, please I really will
be happy if I can show you exercises and change your
life.I am also very sorry what what I taught about you
other way.It is not my foul, its because of you. I put
 my hand on my heart and tell you that since you talked
 with me and we walked together to station I could not
stop thinking about you. This two weeks when you were
sick were so long and every day I hoped to see you.
Honestly I could not sleep properly,just thinking about
your face, your lips, eyes... You think I am grazy?
I am not or maybe I am. I hoped so much that maybe you
are single and maybe you like me also. I taught that I
 can look your face as long as I want, toutch your
super beautiful hair hold your sweet face between my
hands, look deeply into your eyes and see some careing,
interest, some electricity and little bit blushing there.
I taught how I very very slowly toutch your cheek with
my thumb, I can see your beutiful teeth, you smile to
me and I feel big happiness. I taught all the time what
 kind of feeling will it be if I toutch your lips with
 mine, first just a quarter of second, i feel your breath
on my lips, i feel your body temperature trought
your lips. I dreamed how i kiss you slowly with
passion and tenderness..... And again and again all
this was so nice dream that even if I did not see
you I still felt happy. If this never cant happen and
 you never feel anything like that against me then please
dont ignore me still, dont make my feel more worst than
it is. Please tell me, when is ok for you to show you
exercises. I know you have heart, if you have it in
right place you understand me, I am not bad, I dont want
you for one thing.Honestly, you have to believe me....
Please let me show you what you should do and try this
program 6 weeks.
I hope you reply to me something - I really miss you.
And its not easy to tell you everything, please respect it.
If you reid something
what make you angry or you dont like it then you
understand, I just was honest and cant hold it in me, dont be
angry. I want only good for you and I admire you.
Mauro

There has been no contact since between the potential couple
since this email was sent.

Electric Shocks.

In my office carpark, two parking bays have recently been allocated for electric cars, complete with black Car-Charge point. So that you know you are about to park in such a bay, there are marked out zones, each with a helpful 'car-charge' symbol in thick white paint (below).





I was under the impression that we should be encouraged to embrace electric cars. The is apparently not the case; without any prior knowledge you could be forgiven for assuming that here was a parking bay for a Joke-mobile. Are there people out there who want to make the experience of owning an electric car so embarrassing that no-one would actually want to own one? If I had just bought electic car, I would be massively upset and angered to have to use a bay crowned with such symbol.

It looks like a cross between a fez hat and a fisher-price toy. Could they not have tried a smidgen harder to make it look less 'special'. It doesn't even look like a car. Electric cars are supposed to be futuristic and forward thinking. Why couldn't they simply use the universally cool and dangerous 'shock' symbol for electro-power? I started doing some resarch on other symbols/signs and came across this absolute horror located in a Sainsbury's car park...




I don't know these people are, I also don't pretend to know anything about graphic design - but I do know that whoever came up with the above should probably throw the charge cable in a full bath and jump right on in. They might create some space for someone who might be able to do these little guys some justice.

Pizza Brasileira via Ian Cann

During my wonderul years living with Ian Cann in Leeds, we took recreating some of our then favourite dishes very seriously - indeed our flagship was the DIY Rodeo Burger. Even though Ian is now living thousands of miles away in Brasil - I am glad to see that he is not letting his lack of correct ingredients or equipment put him off the quest to recreate his version of his favourite foods. Here is Pizza Brasileira - Ian Cann - 2010.

"i don't have an oven, so this is the solution...

ready made base (tortilla)

hot fry fry pan (no oil required)

hot toasted sandwich maker to provide some ceiling heat - just like traditional pizza oven.

toppings - tomato paste, mozzarella, capers, anchovies, basil dressing, black pep etc..."

"hot toasted sandwich maker to provide some ceiling heat - just like traditional pizza oven."

Pretty much my Ultimate Vibe

I want to give you something that I get a great joy out of - a song apparently written by Henry VIII who was deemed to be a great sportsman and musician (as if anyone would say otherwise). I believe that this would have been written by a court minstrel alongside the Sovereign, he would have claimed it for himself in its entirety. Either way, I hope you like the feel of it. It's called - "Pastime with Good Company" or "The King's Ballad" (The Kynges Balade) and it is about how to fill your life with joy and excitement, friends and love. He also believes that you must court an occasional risky pleasure, but the chief celebration is with good friends, joy and revelry - Idleness may well be the chief sin... This rambunctious Tudor monarch and I don't agree on many things, however I find on this point we agree wholeheartedly.

If you can ignore the fairly awful accent, I do beleive you to will gleam immense satisfaction from this - some lyrics follow the clip (youtube)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vottDdrRSVk

Pastime with good company,
I love, and shall until I die.
Grudge who will, but none deny,
So God be pleased, thus live will I.
For my pastance:
Hunt, sing, and dance,
My heart is set
All goodly sport,
For my comfort,
Who shall me let?

	Youth must have some dalliance,
	Of good or ill some pastance.
	Company methinks them best,
	All thoughts and fancies to digest.
	For idleness,
	Is chief mistress
	Of vices all:
	Then who can say,
	But mirth and play,
	Is best of all?

Oki round 2

I came across some new killer pieces from Oki Ni:

Fred Perry Raf Simmons Trouser Collabo:
Perfect for those cold, windy and wet walks into work...

Florian Rioe Necklace
note the text next to the picture

"Laid flat the look is like ripples on the ocean" - I don't think even when laid flat it looks anything like ocean ripples

"intertwined like a complicated sailor’s knot" If you showed that to a sailor or asked a gnarled seaman whether or not the knot was intertwined and complicated he would put it around your neck hang you from the yard arm.

Note - 'sold out'

Paper Cuts

Really Very Nice

GYMBOX

GYMBOX

I have always had a bad reaction to GYMBOX ever since I first came across it: an aggressive man jabbed a leaflet at me outside Holborn tube that told me where I would be able to partake in 'Chav Fighting'. It would appear the brains behind their engaging marketing/promotional campaigns have come with with the goods again. Here is a photo of what greeted me at Holborn this morning

Do I get to look like this if I work out at Gymbox? And will you spend more of my membership fees on exciting promo campaigns such as this? Sign me up.

I find the whole Gymbox philosophy galling at the very least. Why a giant figure that resemembles a post car-crash Martin Johnson supposed to be lure me in is beyond me.

On their site they have this info:

"With all of our branches designed by nightclub designers, we believe that going out and working out should be one and the same thing and that hot and sweaty exercise should be pure unadulterated entertainment."

They also have djs playing there on rotation. I can't imagine anything worse than a gym with attitude, a techno-gym with attitude - and lasers. They have a weekly rave class, with glowsticks. You can see a video clips here of 'The Rave' - it's pretty much my idea of hell. They also write 'Nightly Resident DJ's - all vices welcome' : sure, take some pills and some ketamine and hit the spin class.

It's not the case that working out can be fun if you pretend you are at a rave.- There is also a categorical fact that clubbing is by nature 'un-gym' - whilst both activities require high levels of exertion, one is a result of self-induced hyper-hedonism, the other the result of a self-imposed health hunt. It would not be ludicrous to claim that they are pretty much polar opposite on the activities spectrum.

I feel queasy when I imagine the sorts of horrids that would be up for GYMBOX and pay a premium for the priviledge. Have a look at this guy - Adam will be yours if you are lucky enough to select the Covent Garden branch:

He looks reeeeeeeeeaaaal healthy.

If you want to work-out, go to a real gym. If you want to rave, go to Berghain . it is my opinion these two pastimes should remain entirely separate.