Monday, 11 April 2011

Herbie's Spring Time

No visit to the English country side is complete without a trip to that bastion of agricultural eccentricity, the Rare Breeds farm. Apart from breeding pigs all year round that you can poke and stroke they also bring long lost lines of bull and ram onto the scene, and sometimes a the odd pygmy kid....

Wednesday, 6 April 2011

Tuesday, 5 April 2011

Boosted

I have often wondered what happens to spent rocket boosters that detach from the shuttle as they power their craft into orbit. I had a feeling that they must fall into the sea but that was about as far as I took things.

Wednesday, 23 March 2011

They're coming....

Czech out this fairly astonishing level of robo-realism...




The Geminoid-DK is robot replica of Henrik Sharfe of Aalborg University in Denmark.

Friday, 7 January 2011

\/\/\/\ Last Dance /\/\/\

In September of 2010 some of us found ourselves in the middle of the main room at Amnesia on a Tuesday morning. Helming the music was Canadian born Berlin resident, Richie Hawtin. Needless to say it was relentlessly hardcore in a way that is sporadically heard at such a mainstream occasion. It felt like we were being fed through a huge machine made of pneumatic jack-hammers and pumping audio pistons. Track after track often two or three being played simultaneously hurled out of the impeccable speakers whilst the ice cannons ravaged the hot crowd with blizzard jets, leaving frosted shells of former selves. Rarely were actual sequences of notes heard; the soniscape was synthetic, punishing, industrial and bleakly cold. The music was so devoid of any warmth you could have easily been forgiven for missing the connection between 4/4 dance music and soul/disco. Richie himself seemed to have even stopped his trademark hair flicks and hair dresser style grooving behind his laptops – he didn’t even look up at the crowd once – it was techno arrogance. He was the sheer puritan – throwing taxing rhythms and textures at the baying crowd of Spanish, Italian and UK technocrats. The mixes built up and up but then dropped back into nothing again and again – we looked at each other, not fully understanding what was going on; how can you have a build up in a club that drops back into nothing time and time again? This type of Spartan sound is strictly for the heads, however it was so involving as it felt as if it was made of pure sonic energy, it is so functional at that level; no gimmicks, vocals, or euphoric sounds – just an elemental assault. It was an incredible night.




As we left as the sun was rising and we wearily glided out into the morning cool of the car park, I remember feeling a little broken. We had been exposed to an unequivocal Hawtin shake-down. At the time I remember wanting to sit him down and give him a good old talking to – you shouldn’t be allowed to do that, not for six hours straight - it’s simply not fair to go that hard, for that long, at such a nice crowd. I have had some aggressive nights, mid 90s One Nation events at the Stratford Rex through to extended sessions in Berghain but this one had me up against the ropes. I couldn’t work out who was at fault for this, me or him. As I was mulling this over I stooped to pick up a lighter on the floor – it’s design seemed fitting…

Friday, 21 May 2010

just spent some time with Auntie Blaise, she recommended www.whatthefuckshouldimakefordinner.com

middle eastern bison meatballs with cilatro yoghurt sauce.

weirdly i had this is mind while riding the subway. Time will tell how this story ends.

Monday, 17 May 2010

A detailed investigation into the art of obtaining a 100% non-date lifestyle.

A colleague of mine received this email from
someone who approached her a couple of times
after a tough work out at the gym.
He clearly quite liked her, so far so good.
He thought that it might be a good idea to write
to her and let her know how he felt - this is when
it falls apart just a smidgen.

I bring you his magus opus -

How are you? I am sry to write you but I just cant stand
it. Please dont ignore me in gym, please I really will
be happy if I can show you exercises and change your
life.I am also very sorry what what I taught about you
other way.It is not my foul, its because of you. I put
my hand on my heart and tell you that since you talked
with me and we walked together to station I could not
stop thinking about you. This two weeks when you were
sick were so long and every day I hoped to see you.
Honestly I could not sleep properly,just thinking about
your face, your lips, eyes... You think I am grazy?
I am not or maybe I am. I hoped so much that maybe you
are single and maybe you like me also. I taught that I
can look your face as long as I want, toutch your
super beautiful hair hold your sweet face between my
hands, look deeply into your eyes and see some careing,
interest, some electricity and little bit blushing there.
I taught how I very very slowly toutch your cheek with
my thumb, I can see your beutiful teeth, you smile to
me and I feel big happiness. I taught all the time what
kind of feeling will it be if I toutch your lips with
mine, first just a quarter of second, i feel your breath
on my lips, i feel your body temperature trought
your lips. I dreamed how i kiss you slowly with
passion and tenderness..... And again and again all
this was so nice dream that even if I did not see
you I still felt happy. If this never cant happen and
you never feel anything like that against me then please
dont ignore me still, dont make my feel more worst than
it is. Please tell me, when is ok for you to show you
exercises. I know you have heart, if you have it in
right place you understand me, I am not bad, I dont want
you for one thing.Honestly, you have to believe me....
Please let me show you what you should do and try this
program 6 weeks.
I hope you reply to me something - I really miss you.
And its not easy to tell you everything, please respect it.
If you reid something
what make you angry or you dont like it then you
understand, I just was honest and cant hold it in me, dont be
angry. I want only good for you and I admire you.
Mauro

There has been no contact since between the potential couple
since this email was sent.

Tuesday, 11 May 2010

Electric Shocks.

In my office carpark, two parking bays have recently been allocated for electric cars, complete with black Car-Charge point. So that you know you are about to park in such a bay, there are marked out zones, each with a helpful 'car-charge' symbol in thick white paint (below).





I was under the impression that we should be encouraged to embrace electric cars. The is apparently not the case; without any prior knowledge you could be forgiven for assuming that here was a parking bay for a Joke-mobile. Are there people out there who want to make the experience of owning an electric car so embarrassing that no-one would actually want to own one? If I had just bought electic car, I would be massively upset and angered to have to use a bay crowned with such symbol.

It looks like a cross between a fez hat and a fisher-price toy. Could they not have tried a smidgen harder to make it look less 'special'. It doesn't even look like a car. Electric cars are supposed to be futuristic and forward thinking. Why couldn't they simply use the universally cool and dangerous 'shock' symbol for electro-power? I started doing some resarch on other symbols/signs and came across this absolute horror located in a Sainsbury's car park...




I don't know these people are, I also don't pretend to know anything about graphic design - but I do know that whoever came up with the above should probably throw the charge cable in a full bath and jump right on in. They might create some space for someone who might be able to do these little guys some justice.